On Concise Writing

Military writing needs to be concise for two reasons: firstly, it is reader-focussed and secondly, concise writing reflects disciplined thought.

Literature, such as poetry, drama, and novels, is writer-focussed. Such writing prioritises the writer’s ideas and language use. By contrast, military writing is reader-focussed. It prioritises the reader’s requirements and expectations, selecting and organising ideas to inform, summarise, persuade, and recommend.

Consequently, military writing must be highly disciplined. Precise words are selected to say exactly what the writer means. Vague ideas, repetition, and redundant words are eliminated to crystallise key points.

The following tips may assist in developing a concise writing style:

Read widely

Selecting precise words requires an extensive vocabulary. Reading widely helps to develop a rich word bank. Choose expert writers from areas of personal interest. It does not matter what they write about, what matters is their mastery of language. So, explore PME reading lists, follow US sportswriters or Stephen Fry, or re-read the one secondary school classic that you actually enjoyed. (My favourite is Orwell’s 1984.) Keep a record of interesting, bizarre, unusual or dynamic words. Look up their meanings and experiment by using them in your own writing.

Use dynamic action verbs

When crafting your sentence, avoid over-using the weak verb ‘to be’. Instead use strong, dynamic action verbs.

Example:

The intention of the section commander is to conduct a weapons inspection.

(12 words)

Fix:

The section commander intends to conduct a weapons inspection. (9 words)

Avoid over-using ‘and’

When joining two ideas with ‘and’, ask yourself, ‘Do I really need both ideas to make my point?’

In the example below, ‘mutual support’ and ‘good collaboration’ are similar ideas, so including both phrases simply adds extra words without expanding the point.

Example:

Mutual support and good collaboration enhances team cohesion. (8 words)

Fix:

Mutual support enhances team cohesion. (5 words)

Avoid over-using ‘of’

Avoid awkward ‘of’ phrases by using dynamic verb phrases.

Example:

Although the commander is responsible for accurate navigation, the use of a check navigator and check pacers can ease pressure. (20 words)

Fix:

Although the commander is responsible for accurate navigation, using a check navigator and check pacers can ease pressure. (18 words)

Avoid ‘weasel words’

As Associate Professor Roslyn Petelin explains, weasel words suck meaning out of writing like a weasel ‘can suck the innards out of an egg without breaking the shell’ (Petelin, 2016, p. 66).

Vague or redundant words, such as ‘very’ and ‘quite’, are weak intensifiers, ‘fillers’ or qualifiers. Replace them with precise, dynamic words or simply delete them.

Example:

She is very happy. (4 words)

Fix:

She is ecstatic. (3 words)

Example:

The DS is quite concerned about the trainee’s performance. (9 words)

Fix:

The DS is concerned about the trainee’s performance. (8 words)

Avoiding wordy writing clarifies ideas and sharpens expression, creating clear, dynamic writing that engages the reader.

Bibliography

Clark, R 2010, The Glamour of Grammar: A guide to the magic and mystery of practical English, Hachette Book Group, New York.

Fogarty, M 2017, Grammar Girl, viewed 04 September 2017, <www.quickanddirtytips.com/grammar-girl>.

Petelin, R 2016, How Writing Works: A field guide to effective writing, Allen and Unwin, Sydney.